My hospital Dana Farber has a department of spiritual care. It is supposed to provide services for patients with all types of belief systems. Christian patients, for example, can request a visit from a chaplain and maybe have a praying session together. Or maybe have the chaplain pray by themselves for the patient? I don't … Continue reading A new view on life →

How did my 'situation normal' become a SNAFU? I came home after my stem cell transplant at the end of May. I was ready to resume my (semi-)normal life. The only thing preventing complete normalcy was a set of limitations around personal hygiene. See, my bone marrow had been replaced by my brother's, and the … Continue reading Recap 3: life at home and relapse →

Here's a departure from the sentimental rants in my previous posts. Would you prefer a dull type of discomfort that hangs out in the background but stays with you all day? Or a sharp, in-your-face type of pain that only comes on once in a while? I'm not asking this because I had a choice … Continue reading Types of pain →

My cancer starts in the bone marrow. Cells which are supposed to develop into good white cells in my blood - those make up the immune system - had obtained some mutation along the line and gone rogue. They grow uncontrollably and spill over into my blood, taking up the space of functioning cells. In … Continue reading Recap 2: situation normal… →

Well, this is something that will help me go to sleep tonight - a letter... My oncologist dropped by my hospital room yesterday, to pay me a visit, but also to give my parents a letter. The letter is supposed to explain my situation and facilitate my parents' application for a new US visa. It … Continue reading Written communication →

Kind of random, but I was playing Spider-Man on my PlayStation the other day, and there was a cutscene where Mary Jane said to herself, 'Part of me wishes I could drop everything and travel the world... but life and work are here'. It reminded me of something I have thought of a while ago - … Continue reading ‘Drop everything and travel’ →

All in all, I will have stayed in the hospital for roughly 5 months this year. And with my condition, staying in the hospital means being completely stuck in the hospital room. The chemotherapy wipes out my immune system, and I have to be quarantined in my room almost the entire time. Even going out … Continue reading Stockholm syndrome →

I did not want to structure my blog as a series of chronological posts. There is just way too much to recap in one year, and I wanted to move fast with this. So I decided it's best to post random "thoughts of the day", whether pertaining to any particular event in the past or … Continue reading Quick recap: the beginning →

These days, I have to rely heavily on nutritional drinks and baby food. The nausea, the cough and the shortness of breath makes most things hard to swallow. The other day, as I was struggling with another bite of the baby food, I broke down and cried in front of my parents. I don't know … Continue reading Hiding weakness = showing strength? →