What is hope in the face of grave illness? Is it simply trying to prolong life? Say you can minimize all the external risks and be quarantined in a personal space, and you think you might get an extra year. Does that fuel yours or your caretakers' hope? Sure, some scientific breakthrough might come along … Continue reading Hope →

In my previous post, 'Crystal Ball', I mentioned my fight with pneunomia. I think it deserves a little more details, because there was so much drama and anxiety. So let's back up a little. It started late night on Wednesday, January 9th. I was in the living room, chilling by myself (I might have even … Continue reading Turning things around →

If someone with a crystal ball knew when you would die, would you want them to reveal that information to you? The answer for myself had always been yes. Even if it's only a matter of a couple of days, which is scary to think about, I would still want to know. I think knowing … Continue reading Crystal ball →

After every round of chemo, my blood counts drop. If my white cell counts go down, I just have to wait for them to bounce back. If my hematocrit and platelets drop too low, I need transfusion(s). Three interesting things about transfusions. First, my blood type is actually "O to B". This means that I … Continue reading Transfusions →

My latest recap post, 'Recap 3', ended on events around late December. Things have happened since then, so I would like to pick up on those events and fill you in on what followed. Another note: if you haven't done so, please go read my other post 'Rollercoasters'. It should help understand the technical stuff … Continue reading Recap 4: after first failed chemo →

I still remember my Russian teacher saying to our class one day, back when I was in high school in - you guessed it - Russia, 'Prepare for the worst but hope for the best'. I believe this was just before an exam. I think it's a good philosophy to live by in general, although … Continue reading Hope for the best, prepare for the worst →

You could say that this battle with leukemia has been an emotional rollercoaster. The first diagnosis threw my whole life into question. Then I got a concrete treatment plan from doctors in Boston and went through that treatment without major issues. Suddenly, there was plenty of hope (and in my mind at that time, almost … Continue reading Rollercoasters →

I am not writing this exactly on New Year's Eve, because my parents, my friends and I are planning to have a little celebration in my hospital room. Nothing fancy you can do here, but we do have a bottle of non-alcoholic cider to pop. And maybe we can catch the fireworks and concerts on … Continue reading New Year →